From Resolutions are Revolutions Born—A Look at the Year Ahead

Sure, it's been another frigid week for some of us, and the snow has been a particular drag in general. For all intents and purposes, however, the last 24 hours have been particularly stellar here at the Fane. I was up until well after dawn finishing a recently-published scifi novel for review; I prepared a particularly tasty cheese omelet for "breakfast" when I woke in the early afternoon; I managed to survive shopping like a proper adult, scoring a host of healthy, whole ingredients without any accompanying junk "food"; for dinner, I had my first green smoothie in ages. All in all, a rather responsible and productive day for someone not yet fully accustomed to what most would call "normal life". In fact, while most of this likely seems more or less mundane, commonplace, or downright boring, those who struggle with particular breeds of hardship will understand that it was quite the adventure in accomplishment for me. What better way to cap a day such as this than to head back to the blog for the year's much-delayed first post?

A Quick Recap

The past few months have been anything if not exciting, though admittedly there's been precious little to report in terms of my NaNoWriMo novel. While there's much work yet to be done, the holidays obviously took precedence for much of December. I've expanded upon the outline, made note of a few dozen incidents that should be included, but beyond that I've focused mostly upon fleshing out the protagonist, by way of living his life.  

I'd neglected the previously year's festivities, mired deeply in an existential malaise which swallowed the final months of 2012 and indeed much of 2013, and so endeavored to compensate for those many lost months by embracing the holiday spirit as much as possible. I set my books aside and turned to the television. It's not something I often do, but I think I can be forgiven marathons of Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG, and a dozen or so science fiction and action blockbusters. 

As Christmas itself approached I shifted to holiday themed films, encountering The Bishop's Wife and It's a Wonderful Life for the first time, both of which were exquisitely delightful, as well as five different versions of A Christmas Carol. I'd decided, having thrown up my decorations only days before Christmas itself, to celebrate the classic Twelve Days of Christmas, meaning my festivities continued well into January. After weeks that included many a feast, the exchange of a few thoughtful gifts, my first Boxing Day celebration, and a truly reflective New Year's Eve, it was time to strike the decorations and prepare in earnest for a year that had already arrived.

New Year, New You?

My approach to New Year's resolutions has always been much like the old cliched experience—make a list of new rules for oneself, maintain for a week or three, slip up once and abandon the effort for having failed perfection. It is—in my case, at any rate—as if resolutions were meant to be broken. They're almost intentionally trivial, and while the notion of resolutions (and the New Year itself) is a contrivance, I still feel I've been wasting an opportunity for yearly renewal, transformation, transcendence to the next stage of my personal evolution. It seemed to me that the crux of the problem lay in viewing resolutions as hard-and-fast rules which I must suddenly and unfailingly follow. Obviously, this just isn't the way to go about affecting change. As someone who's made a habit of taking progressive strides away from the chaotic existence of his past, I decided I ought to rectify this annual flailing, by trying a more balanced approach to the new year—one with a far better chance of succeeding. 

Resolutions Done Right

Rather than a new set of rules aimed at instantly correcting my behavior, I came up with a manageable list of gradual changes that will hopefully enable me to affect new habits over time. If, by year's end, I'm living my life differently as planned, I'll consider my resolutions successful. The first—and most obvious—problem to address is my writing.

• Though participating in NaNoWriMo has in both successful cases contributed greatly to my ability to write consistently, it's a discipline I've done little to maintain. In each instance, by the time the new year rolled around I'd already let myself slip back into the habit of writing only when the mood struck me, rather than in a disciplined, daily fashion. Still working with my old approach to resolutions, I'd at first thought I'd just make myself write daily, and that would be that. Having made that promise to myself numerous times in the past, I quickly realized how meaningless it had become. Instead, I'm easing myself into the practice, with only enough pressure to nudge myself from an inert state on a regular basis. If I write, I make a note of it on my calendar. If I don't, I'll try again tomorrow. The goal is to end the year writing daily, and there are still eleven months to work with.

• As far as reading is concerned, I'd found myself most often gripped by task paralysis whenever I so much as glanced at my reading pile, which had grown to roughly sixty or so titles piled high and wide atop my coffee table. In order to make the list less daunting, I reduced it to only five or six select titles. In order to ensure the reading of those particular books, I'm not allowing myself to add anything new to the pile until each of them has been read. While I have recently thrown a review title into the mix, I think that's an acceptable skirting of the rule, as it encourages me to continue writing for the blog, which is my next order of business.

• I had a good run during the fall last year, but blogging daily—or even weekly—is still sometimes a struggle. Hopefully, this post will be the first of many, but again my goal here isn't to suddenly exhibit the discipline required to produce on a regular basis, but rather develop the habit over time. I'd like to follow through with my original intent, continuing to post personal progress and musings, as well as returning to review work, adding original films and music to new book reviews and further analyses of page-to-screen adaptations. If, by year's end, I've managed to at least double last year's output, I'll consider the overall effort a success.

• One last resolution, set apart from those described above, is actually a daily practice which I've imposed upon myself, though with little difficulty and to tremendous immediate effect: Along with notes for having written, I've made a point of marking the calendar with a star for each solidly fulfilling or particularly enjoyable day. It may not seem like much, but that little record has enabled me to see just how much better I have it than I might sometimes think. Everyone has their down days, and on those days it's often difficult to keep in mind just how rare they are. With the visual aid of the calendar, I can keep things in perspective, and can honestly say that the practice has helped boost more than a few mediocre days back into star-worthy territory.

While it may have taken me a while to institute these resolutions, I'm still remarkably confident about my ability to continue striving to achieve their aims. In fact, I'm feeling remarkably confident about the year in general. I have a long-standing habit of tackling each year, regardless of circumstance, by boasting "This is gonna be my year!" And, truth be told, I haven't been wrong yet—though last year did seem as if it might finally buck the trend. But something about 2014 feels different; there's a surety which I can't quite explain. Maybe I'm just more prepared, maybe I'm in a better place, maybe the stars have finally aligned to agree with me more than previous years. All I know is, it's a very exciting time to be alive, and I can't wait to see how much more exciting it gets as my year stretches on. 

2013 NaNoWriMo Wrap-Up: Victory, Reflections, and Things to Come

Blog posts have been a bit thin on the ground as of late, but with good reason—I've been busy, hard at work on my novel, The Third Face of Janus, striving to reach the NaNoWriMo goal. Or rather, I had been busy, working relatively hard on the novel. If you haven't been following on Twitter or the Fane's Facebook page, it won't take long to get caught up: In an effort that was so direct as to preclude any appreciable amount of surprise at the outcome, I succeeded in topping the 50,000 words required to call myself a victor in this year's National Novel Writing Month. While the novel is far from finished—I expect to spend the next few months finishing the task of converting my novel-length narrative outline into a colossal manuscript before beginning a months-long editing process—it has indeed been accomplished. The battle has been won.

Before moving on to the rest of the war for writership, I think it best to reflect on the WriMo that was. It has been, for all intents and purposes, a fantastic month. I feel thoroughly redeemed following last year's dismal non-attempt. I've gathered unto myself a bevy of fantastic new literary acquaintances on Twitter, particularly those who participated in Friday Night Writes' boisterous Write Club sessions. I rediscovered my love for the creative process, renewed the appreciation I feel for the talents with which I'm gifted, and properly blew myself away with the level of productivity I was able to achieve. 

As I remarked in the previous post, this year's WriMo felt a bit off, owing to the ease with which I tackled each day's writing. In my previous successful attempt back in 2011—my first NaNoWrimo novel, The Lesser of Two Earths—I struggled well behind the pace for the entire month, only reaching the goal after a furious, mind-numbing effort that resulted in the addition of 15,813 words over the final three days of the month: 

It seemed a Herculean feat, as I recall. I can't say I remember it well, as those days were a blur, and so too are the memories hazy. I remember feeling exhausted for days afterword, though thoroughl content with my achievement. This year's WriMo effort, in stark contrast to 2011, was composed almost entirely of days such as those. 4,000 words per day seemed the norm, sometimes in as little as two hours' time. The lack of struggle was discomforting, unsettling, and it's not hard to see at which point those feelings overwhelmed me:

I was well ahead of the pace during the first half of the month, and that's including the first half of a week in which I wrote nothing at all. The lack of suspense had taken much of the fun out of the process, and like a spoiled brat I set about procrastinating until, on the 20th day of the WriMo, my word count fell behind the pace for the first time. I decided this manufactured concern would have to suffice, and returned to the project in earnest. Perhaps too much so. 

If anything can be said about the writing of those last 16,993 words, it's that my hands and forearms were less than pleased. There's always a slight discrepancy between Scrivener's word count and the official tally on the NaNoWriMo site, and I was short some 75 words. My arms, however, weren't having it—they thought the task had already been completed, and had already checked out. The physical effort required to add another few paragraphs was greater than that which had brought me just short of the goal. But there it was, a full 9 days left in the month, and I'd reached my goal. 

I took the rest of the day off, resting my arms and cursing myself slightly for having proven just how productive I can be, when properly motivated. The question of why I'm not more often motivated as such, even half as much, remains to be answered. The "why" isn't even necessarily that important, it's the doing that counts, and will continue to count. After a few days reveling in all things Whovian, and as the holiday season finally dawns on the Fane, the real question is, will I continue?

I can say, unequivocally, and for perhaps the first time since embarking on the writer's journey, that I feel like a proper novelist. As my novel is largely a character study, I'm not building worlds or weaving threads to create a complex plot; I am, however, in possession of an overall narrative in which I truly believe has merit, weight, value. I may spend a few more days catching the few bits of Whovian lore missing from my education, or throw on some Christmas tunes and raid the closet for decorations, but mark my words: I will complete the first draft of The Third Face of Janus. 

With the lack of down-to-the-wire anxiety, all the anticipation built up over the months prior to the WriMo are left wanting, and I aim to give them the satisfaction they're due. And besides, after seeing what I'm capable of, there's really no turning back. I've a new mission, and a renewed sense of purpose—I'm a novelist, now. And I don't think I could have reached that point without National Novel Writing Month having set the stage.

WriMo in Progress - Day 13

It's been an exciting month so far, but this year's NaNoWriMo experience has finally begun to settle into some semblance of normalcy, if one could call nearly 300,000 participants across the globe endeavoring to write 50,000 words by month's end "normal". I've done most of my writing at a blistering pace during group writing sprints on Twitter, composing as much as 1,945 words in a single half-hour run. In this way I've managed to top 30,000 words without difficulty. It's been so easy, in fact, that it almost doesn't feel right. I know, by this point and without question, that I could reach the 50,000 word goal by week's end if I wanted—I could've already reached it, if I'd just kept sprinting—and therein lies the biggest problem for me during this year's WriMo: without the fear of failure, the constant and anxious pressure to add to the word count, I've grown a touch lazy. Without the worry, is it really NaNoWriMo?

Don't get me wrong--I'm still having an unbelievably good time. It's so easy to forget how enjoyable writing can be, when one falls out of the habit. And for it to have been going so well, I can't really compare it to any previous experience. NaNoWriMo '11 was won by the skin of my teeth, after a three-day blur that I still can't recall properly. That was tremendous fun, if exhausting, but despite the success of making goal I can't say I felt as confident in my novel or writing ability as I do now. That anxiety made the experience, though—it's what everyone goes on about year after year, the desperation, the struggle. To borrow from a pop cultural entity whom I refuse to name, it's about the climb. With The Third Face of Janus, it's less of a climb and more like Superman zipping straight to the top, faster than a speeding bullet. It's exhilarating, but it's just not the same.

Obnoxious whining aside, I do feel particularly good about this novel. I've enough notes and source material to exceed the 50,000 word goal well before month's end, and continue on to at least 200,000 words before the story's been told. I honestly have no idea how long the first draft will be, but imagine I'll wind up culling half the words, if not more, before I have a workable second draft. The tone of the novel is beginning to resonate soundly, and I'm starting to see in this effort more than a writing exercise. There really is a novel here, or at least there will be eventually. That's not a bad feeling, and I'm sure I'll more than make up for the lack of WriMo pressure when it comes time to find beta readers in preparation for someday querying agents. 

So what if I don't have the same experience as I did during my first run? Maybe I'm just chasing the dragon, so to speak. Maybe that first time can only be had once, like so many things in life. Maybe every year's different. Maybe this year I'll actually continue until the novel's finished. And maybe someday, I'll have more than a victory t-shirt to my credit. I have a habit of beginning each year claiming "This is gonna be my year!", and for the past 5 years, it's held more or less true. Maybe this novel is the start of something bigger, and it's time instead to declare "This is gonna be my decade." Time will tell, best to not get ahead of myself. But, for the moment at least, I feel really good about this novel. Maybe that can be enough, for now.

WriMo in Progress - Audio/Visual Edition

My pace is slowing, but the quality of the writing has vastly improved. I feel as if I'm finally into the swing of things, and so today feels like the first day of proper Writing. I know I should be working on the novel, but it's a lazy sort of day. I've been a bit distracted, taking bites out of the day's goal rather than tackling it as perhaps I should. But I'm up to 9027 words, so I'm still on track. I thought an update was in order, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention some of the A/V aids I've been using to help get the job done. I've already touched upon software to some extent, but there's more to writing than where the words go. 

When it comes to preparation for a project larger than a few pages, I find an outline helps. Usually, I'll worth with a narrative outline, or something more like a summarizing -play-by-play. I've read Tony Buzan's Make the Most of Your Mind, and while the majority of his methods have proved invaluable over the years, I never could get the hang of "Mind Mapping". Something about translating the abstract into a visual medium, perhaps; it's as if the instructions I've read were missing a few integral steps, the whole process eluding comprehension. Nevertheless, being a fan of Literature and Latte as I am, I just had to try their latest offering, the "Mind Map Plus" program Scapple.

Scapple is an extremely simple application, which is what makes it so tremendously useful. There's an array of options--the style of the notes, the way in which they're grouped and connected, even little things like the background and note's colors—which help the user tailor the program to their needs. It's essentially a means of jotting notes, as one would in a notebook, but more convenient.

Photo from LiteratureAndLatte.com

My attempt to plot the timeline of my novel, to be quite honest, looks a mess. You can lead a writer to software, but you can't make him organize his thoughts with it. It's still useful, however, to see which portions of the story originate, feed through, or connect to other portions of the story. The above example, presented by the folks at Literature and Latte, is understandably a tad more presentable, but I wouldn't give up my nightmare of a Scapple file for the world.

Redacted because *Spoilers*

As for audible assistance, I haven't yet settled on a "soundtrack" for this year's WriMo. During my first effort back in 2011, I listened exclusively to the score to 2002's psychological scifi movie Solaris, composed by former Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Cliff Martinez. Based upon Stanislaw Lem's 1972 novel of the same name and directed by Steven Soderbergh, the movie stars George Clooney as a psychologist sent to investigate the situation aboard an observatory space station orbiting the titular planet. The film is described as a "meditative psychodrama", and Martinez's score matches brilliantly in tone.

As my novel, The Lesser of Two Earths, was to be an exploration of psychology and sociology set against the backdrop of a post-apocalyptic dystopia of sorts, the score set the mood perfectly.

In the case of The Third Face of Janus, however, I've found it difficult to settle on a single source of musical inspiration. John Brion's score to Charlie Kaufman's 2008 masterpiece Synecdoche, New York could work, at least for some scenes, but Janus is of two minds, and I need more freedom to switch between them than listening to a single score will allow. I'm a firm believer in the ability of music to boost productivity, however, so I had to employ something to that effect. In the end i decided on two somethings: Focus@Will and Coffitivity.

Focus@Will offers a number of themed music channels purported to be "attention amplifying", "scientifically designed to engage with your brain's limbic system." There's been some talk recently on the web about the benefits of particular types of music, at low volumes, facilitating creative output. Focus@Will was the first example I'd come across, due perhaps to the fact that their site is so well constructed, user friendly, and effective. Not only do they provide the aforementioned music channels, they also provide (to subscribers) customizable session lengths and productivity trackers. It's the science of personal soundtrack, boiled down to its most simple. 

Coffitivity, born of the same science as Focus@Will, and geared toward the same audience, presents an alternative to music. Enjoy working in coffee shops and cafes? Now you can enjoy the auditory ambiance of those places without leaving home. Choose between 'Morning Murmer', 'Lunchtime Lounge', or 'University Undertones', whichever variety of background chatter suits you best. Both sites offer streaming to smartphones as well, for anyone writing on the go. Maybe the chatter at your favorite coffee shop just isn't doing the trick, or the Zen channel on satellite radio is throwing too many of the same tunes your way. Focus@Will and Coffitivity have you covered.

Whatever your methods, writing at home or abroad, to music or in silence, keep writing the good write. Have any you'd like to share? Leave a comment below! For now, I think I'm going to make a pot of Earl Grey tea and loop my personal theme music, Eric Satie's Trois Gymnopedies, for a while. I've got the 10k word mark in my sights; best to strike while the iron's hot.

WriMo in Progress - Update, Day 2

Although it's still very early on, so far it's been an amazing start to National Novel Writing Month, 2013 Edition. Things kicked off at midnight Friday morning, and I spent those first few hours participating in #WriteClub writing sprints led by the folks at Friday Night Writes (@FriNightWrites on Twitter), who have been hosting a 48 hour marathon since the WriMo began. NaNoWriMo has also been hosting official sprints through the @NaNoWordSprints account. By the end of day one, I'd reached a total of 4,211 words, which happened surprisingly quickly though I'm not foolish enough to expect that rate of progress to continue the entire month. I would, however, prefer it if I were able to complete the novel within a month's time, which would require at least doubling the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words. It will, for the time being, have to remain to be seen whether or not this can be accomplished. 

Where my novel, The Third Face of Janus, is concerned, I feel things are coming along rather nicely. There are multiple overlapping elements, and despite the absence of a standard story arc I've identified a theme that the novel should, in the end, address to a satisfying extent. There's even subtext that, with any luck, will remain subtle enough to avoid obscuring the story proper. For now, I'm content to find myself writing what amount to episodes, to be linked together as the novel fleshes out over the course of the month.

I decided to make a celebration of Day 1, once my daily goal had been met and exceeded. It's been overwhelmingly awesome in the classic sense of the word, witnessing the fun and excitement of this event. Having taken that first day easy, I feel ready to tackle the task with gusto here on Day 2. Time to bite on the old nail, as Hemingway would say. There's writing to be done.